Write by the Cards: Day Seventeen
A Setback
If you’re new to The Rebel MFA Way, welcome! This is my daily work for my Write by the Cards: 30 Day Challenge that I’m hosting. Learn more here. Scroll down to the end to see my behind-the-scenes commentary and source material.
But just when things seemed clearer, the character encountered a setback: {draw a card}.
Inheritance day wasn’t supposed to feel like this—awkward, quiet, and vaguely humiliating. I stood in the dust-choked remains of my father’s windmill, staring down at the last “treasures” of his life: a broken millstone, a patch of land determined to grow nothing but weeds, and a cat. A cat who, I swear to all the gods, was looking at me with a level of disdain normally reserved for divorce attorneys and DMV employees.
“That’s it?” I asked, gesturing at the pile of nothing my life had apparently boiled down to.
The cat stretched, slow and deliberate, like it was trying to annoy me. “Technically, you have me,” it said, in a voice so dry it might spontaneously catch fire. “And I am worth more than you think.”
Okay. A talking cat. Sure. That was a thing now. My first instinct? Run screaming into the woods. Second instinct? Stay and argue, because this cat had serious attitude, and I wasn’t about to be out-sassed by a glorified barn mouser.
“Oh, you’re worth something, huh? Are you hiding a trust fund in your litter box, or…?”
The cat didn’t even flinch. Instead, it padded over to me, boots clinking—yes, clinking—against the floorboards. Somewhere in the back of my brain, the part still clinging to reality whispered, Are those boots? On a cat? But I ignored it, because my life had officially gone off the rails, and I was too broke to afford therapy.
“Trust me,” the cat said, eyes gleaming. “I’ve got a plan. All I need is your cooperation and, ideally, a shred of dignity.”
“Dignity’s been dead for years,” I muttered. “So, yeah, I’m in.”
• • •
Turns out, a cat with boots and a vendetta against mediocrity is terrifyingly effective. Over the next week, we executed what I can only describe as a series of increasingly elaborate cons. It started small: Puss caught a rabbit, slapped a bow on it, and sauntered into the duke’s estate claiming it was a gift from me, the “Marquis of Carabas.” (I didn’t know what a marquis was, but it sounded expensive.)
The duke’s people ate it up. Literally. By the time Puss had dropped off his third “gift,” rumors about my so-called “estate” were spreading like wildfire. Land. Wealth. Charm. None of it true, of course, but apparently, confidence and a few well-placed bribes can do wonders.
Then came the big one: the ogre.
The ogre lived in a castle that towered over the countryside, its jagged turrets looking more like teeth than architecture. Rumor had it, he could transform into anything—a lion, a dragon, your worst nightmare. Naturally, Puss decided that was the hill we were going to die on.
“I have questions,” I said as we approached the castle gates. “Mainly, what the hell are we doing here? Are we robbing him? Conning him? Negotiating?”
“None of the above,” Puss replied, not breaking stride. “We’re humiliating him.”
“Cool, cool, love that for us. But maybe we should consider not antagonizing the magical murder machine?”
Puss stopped and turned, tail flicking impatiently. “Do you trust me?”
“No,” I said. “But I’m broke, desperate, and apparently insane, so let’s do this.”
• • •
The ogre was everything the stories promised—huge, grotesque, and sitting on more gold than any one person (or monster) could ever need. Puss, naturally, strolled right in like he owned the place.
“You’re the ogre, I presume?” Puss said, voice dripping with faux politeness.
The ogre’s laugh shook the room. “And you’re dinner.”
“Flattered,” Puss deadpanned. “But before you eat me, let’s talk. Word on the street is you’re pretty impressive. Shape-shifting, hoarding wealth, terrorizing peasants. Very villain-chic.”
The ogre narrowed his eyes. “Get to the point.”
“The point,” Puss said, leaning against a chair leg, “is that you couldn’t possibly be as powerful as they say. I mean, sure, turning into a lion or dragon is cool and all, but it’s… obvious. Predictable.”
The ogre’s pride lit up like a fireworks display. “I can become anything.”
“Anything?” Puss asked, ears twitching. “Even something small? A mouse, for example?”
The ogre laughed again, but this time it was tinged with cruelty. “Easily.”
“Prove it,” Puss challenged.
And just like that, the ogre was gone, replaced by a tiny, squeaking mouse. Before I could even process what was happening, Puss pounced, claws flashing, and the mouse was no more.
“Well,” I said, staring at the empty throne. “That escalated quickly.”
• • •
The castle was mine now. Or rather, ours. Puss, naturally, was already lounging on the ogre’s throne, licking one paw like he’d just wrapped up a routine house-cleaning instead of orchestrating a coup.
“So… what now?” I asked, surveying the piles of gold and the sweeping views from the tower window.
“Now,” Puss said, hopping down and sauntering toward the door, “you make something of yourself. Build a legacy. Don’t waste it.”
“And you?” I asked. “What’s next for the great Puss in Boots?”
He glanced back, amber eyes gleaming. “I’ll be watching. You’ll probably screw it up at least twice, but hey, that’s life.”
With that, he was gone, leaving behind nothing but a trail of paw prints and a kingdom that still didn’t feel real.
Behind-the-Scenes Commentary
Okay, I’ll be honest… most of what I know about the “Puss in Boots” story comes from Shrek. Lol I know.
But let me tell you, the original “Puss in Boots” story is highly entertaining.
I had no idea how much I would enjoy reading it. Seems like such a tragedy that I didn’t read it sooner given my love of cats.
It also reminds me a little bit of Anansi story given how cunning and sly the cat is to get what it wants. I’m not really surprised that I enjoyed a talking animal story but am delighted to have finally read the origin story of this one.
I also had such a blast writing this particular retelling because I feel like the story is ready made for snark between the two characters. Even though I kept it magical, I did make the language more modern-day which was fun!
Source Material
The Fairy Tale Tarot by Lisa Hunt